Posts

The day it stops bothering you, is the day you don't belong

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So I want to tell y’all a story. It’s not based on a true story with a bunch of Hollywood fluff; it’s just an honest, true story.
A few years back, I was home on Christmas break from college. As per usual I spent most of my break on the ranch with my dad. It was a cold and drizzly morning, the sun was nowhere to be found and the clouds were socked in. All the cows and their calves had been gathered the day before and were in the field around the corrals that morning. It’s December so all the cows should have calved by now but true to some cows’ fashion, they keep that bun in the oven longer than was originally planned. So the day before, I preg checked the few cows that had yet to calve to see if they were open or if there was a calf getting close to making his/her arrival. Remember this.

Side note: for those of you not directly connected to ranching I’m going to let you in on a little secret—things never go according to plan, no matter how hard you try.

Back to the cold December day…

There is nothing more precious

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There is nothing more precious, beautiful, or rewarding than an obedient heart.
I've been a Christian for the vast majority of my life. I was born into a Christian family, went to church most Sundays growing up, and accepted Christ as my Savior when I was 8 years old. But my walk with Christ hasn't always been on the paved yellow brick road. I've veered to the bumpy shoulder, crossed back across the smooth paved road just to flip across the bar ditch and land upside down in a seemingly empty field where all lost hopes and dreams can be found next to a mess of heartache and sin. It has been said before, and I will gladly say it again, being a Christian isn't easy, it isn't all sunshine and roses. My days get dark and dim just like everyone else's, but one of my favorite qualities of Christ is His unrelenting, reckless love. He never fails to show up and pull us from the wreckage, even when we have lost all hope, even when it seems like we'll never make it out…

My Unpopular Opinion

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Unpopular opinion below, read about it and my reasoning behind it if you care or if you dare. I don't want to be taken care of, I want to be supported.
Yep, there I said it. And I'll say it again, I don't want to be taken care of, I want to be supported. 

I hear so many people, girls in particular saying they can't wait to meet that one special man and get married so they can be taken care of the rest of their lives. *shutters* Being the strong, independent woman that I am, that just makes my skin crawl. Now I don't say this in a condescending tone, if a girl wants a man to take care of her, good for her! That is her choice to create the life she desires. But for me, I speak from experience, I know that a relationship structured on the principle of the man "taking care of me" just won't work. Now this isn't me saying that when I'm sick and down for the count that I don't want a little extra TLC, because I mean come on, we all appreciate the …

I've fallen in love

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I've Fallen in Love...

I've fallen in love with the sound of rain on a tin roof. I've fallen in love with the way flames dance across fresh cut wood. I've fallen in love with the silent beauty of a sunrise and the soothing sight of a sunset. I've fallen in love with wildflowers pushing through the fresh green grass in the middle of spring.  I've fallen in love with the sight of a newborn calf trying out its wobbly legs for the first time.  I've fallen in love with watching fields of wheat blow in the wind. I've fallen in love with the smell of the branding pen and Mom's peach pie. I've fallen in love with the sound of a tried and true cow pony's heavy breathing after a long hard pull up the steep hillside. I've fallen in love with the sight and sound of laughter shared among friends on a Saturday night. I've fallen in love with the feeling of a tight embrace after being reunited with family and friends. I've fallen in love with …

Dear New College Grad

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Dear new college graduate, 


First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! You should be so incredibly proud of yourself. You just survived the last four-ish years of late nights, early mornings, and everything on either side and in between. You made it through all those horrible exams, 8am classes that took attendance and even the hangovers you were sure were going to end you. You most likely experienced some heartbreak, caused by an almost lover or maybe a loss of a friendship you were sure would never end. You figured out what it is like to live on Easy-Mac and gas station burritos. You probably figured out that Folgers is a heck of a lot cheaper than Starbucks, and knew the various happy hour specials across town by heart. You are most likely more than ready to get the heck out of your college town and "really start living life" right? Well let me tell ya, this adulthood thing, is a lot harder than you think. And you are going to miss college. A lot.

Real life is hard. It's rewardin…

Acceptance

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A year ago today I was three short weeks away from graduating college and embarking on this crazy journey known as adulthood. I was damned and determined to stay in the Midwest; I was convinced that, that was where I was suppose to be, that's where I was going to be most successful, that's where I was going to be happy. Well as many of you know, or for those of you who don't, that's not quite how things worked out. 

I did stay in the Midwest for a short few months after graduation (Wreck 'em Tech!) but it turned out to be shy of what I had planned for it to be. Things just didn't work out how I thought they should and frankly I wasn't happy, I was struggling in so many ways. I was struggling with acceptance. I couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that my plan was failing...big time. Through those few months of struggle I had to swallow my pride and begin to accept that God's plan for me didn't align with that plan I had made for me. And hol…

I just don't understand, but it's fine.

To the boy I once loved, So I found myself thinking about you today. There are a million things I want to say to you, a thousand questions I still have that you left unanswered.  There's a part of me that yearns to know how you're doing without me considering you used to tell me you could never stand to lose me. Part of me wants to know how your sisters and parents are, if your brother is doing alright and if things with your buddy that moved in with you are working out as planned. Part of me wants to ask about your dogs and if that little mare of yours ever turned out like you had hoped. Part of me wants to know if you're still working your ass off at that job you despise because although I have come to question a lot of things about you, your work ethic will never be one of them.
But then there's this other part of me; this other part that can't stand you, that doesn't want to know all the answers to the questions I just listed above, because that would be a…