Remains Faithful

Hello. It's Me. I'm in California dreamin'.... 

Okay sorry, I had to. Anyone who has ever been in a car with me knows I'm allllmmoooossstttt as great of a singer as Adele, but not quite, so I'll stop pretending that I am, now.

But really, hey there friends, it has been about a year and a half since I have written anything on here *GASP* !!! Unacceptable, I know. And for that I apologize. I got this random urge to jump back on my blog and maybe jot down a few words and that's when I realized how long it has been since I have shared any of my crazy cow stories or far from 'normal' life experiences with you. So brief update: although I did "Trade Oak Trees for Tumbleweeds" *as my blog is titled* {which I need a new name, so in the comments leave suggestions if ya want! :)} for four years, I then traded those tumbleweeds for big Nebraskan bluffs, to then trade those back for my beloved oak trees. And quite frankly, if you would have told me even 6 months ago that I would be moving back to California I probably would have laughed and maybe even rolled my eyes in disbelief. Ya see, I had this whole plan for my life lined out in my head...go ahead and laugh, I know you want to! I was going to graduate from Texas Tech University (for the record that part of my plan worked, Wreck 'em Tech!), I would land a bad ass job in the Midwest somewhere, preferably Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, meet some sweet, handsome gentleman, that called me darlin' and ma'am, who loved working cattle with me as much as he loved sippin' on a smooth glass of whiskey on a Friday night by my side, but most importantly only loved Jesus more than he loved me. We would both be successful and forces to be reckoned with in the beef cattle industry. Eventually we would have our own place full of some kickin' cattle, handy horses, gritty cow dogs and a couple kids because ya know, we wouldn't already be busy enough. Anndddd this is where you can go ahead and start giggling if you haven't already. {Really it's okay, I'm laughing too. I mean really, if you can't laugh at yourself every now and then (or all the time like me) you are taking this beautiful life we have all been blessed with WAYYY too seriously.} 

Anyways, you guessed it, I don't live in the Midwest, I now reside in Northern California in the middle of a bunch of oak trees, and ya know what, it's amazing! Once again, God knows what He's doing! Surprise, surprise right? LOL...not. The Lord never ceases to amaze me with His never ending mercy and grace; no matter how many times I try to take my life back into my own hands, or walk down the path I have created just to find out it's a dead end and although He wouldn't have to, every time I come walking back (admittedly pouting on the occasion) He takes me back with open arms and shows me small glimpses of His plan for me and, yep, once again you've guessed it, it always abundantly exceeds anything and everything I could ever begin to dream of. He is such a good, good father y'all!

Remember how I said I wanted to have a bad ass job in the Midwest and be a force to be reckoned with in the beef cattle industry? Well I may not have a bad ass job in the Midwest, but I do have a bad ass job on the West coast that I love so, so much. Waking up in the morning and going to work is exciting and easy to do when you have coffee you love your job. I am without a doubt one of the lucky ones. I have always said that I would rather love what I do and make a couple pennies than go to work and despise it just to make a big paycheck. I now make a good living for myself, horse, and two dogs and I love my job. I manage the commercial cow herd for a university in California where I spend the vast majority of my days hanging out with 'my' cows and I even get to teach a few students every now and then, and at least for me, it's a dream come true. It's hard work both physically and mentally but I am confident when I say I know this is where the Lord wants me right now, and that is a pretty special and humbling feeling. Oh, and the being "a force to be reckoned with in the beef cattle industry" thing, I think I am slowly making my mark. I have a long ways to go, but it's a goal I'll never stop chasing. 

Now I'm sure you're wondering when I'm going to talk about this sweet, handsome, handy, cattle and Jesus loving young man. Well, if you've seen the movie "The Ugly Truth" you know the scene where Katherine Hiegel goes on and on describing the 'perfect man' and when Gerard Butler asks where he is, Katherine then is forced to respond with, "well, he's out there somewhere..." Well...I am currently going to pull a Katherine... my answer is, "Well, he's out there somewhere." If I am being completely honest, which I have always vowed to be, this is something I sometimes struggle with. I am at that awkward stage in my life where the vast majority of my friends are married, engaged, in a serious relationship, some even having kids. Which let me make it clear that I am BEYOND happy for all my friends that have reached this stage of their lives. It seriously makes me so happy to know that my friends are being loved like they deserve to be. (I'm not saying this just to say it, I wholeheartedly mean it.) Then there are my other group of friends that are partying it up every day that ends in y. Which hey, I had my fair share of fun in college too. Then there's me... a 22 year old single girl with a pretty kickin' job, two dogs, and a strong sense of independence, who is as hard headed as they come with a huge heart despite the fact I try to pretend I'm super tough and that my heart is made of stone. When in all reality, I may have a tall wall built around my heart, I may have high standards, but I have a huge heart, I strive to be kind to everyone I meet, and I give people more chances than they probably deserve. I have been lied to and led on more times than I can count. I have felt like giving up on love due to the many failed attempts I have found myself in the middle of. Life in a town too small for a population sign (not joking) gets a little lonely, okay a lot lonely. But what I have come to realize, especially here lately is that this is where faith comes in. I was recently reading 2 Timothy {which I highly recommend by the way} and I came across this verse that left me completely convicted, in udder awe of the love the Lord has already blessed me with. 2 Timothy 2:13 reads, "If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself." That verse hit me like a bullet straight to the chest. No matter how many times I question the Lord's plan for me, no matter how many times I let my faith in the Almighty, Master Planner waiver, He remains faithful. He is all knowing, He knows His love, mercy, and grace for all of His children to be true, and He wants us to know that too. He isn't asking for much, all He wants is for us to have faith in Him and His plan for our lives. I then saw that chapter 2 of 2 Timothy is titled "Be Strong in Grace". Wow, how amazing is that?! I've had grace explained to me as this: everything God has given us which have done nothing to deserve. So really, God is calling us to be strong in His grace, to be confident in and embrace the blessing which He has bestowed upon us in our lives! Blessings big and small, blessings apparent and in disguise. Although I struggle sometimes with being the 'forever single' girl, I am working on embracing that this time in my life is just one of the many blessing God has given me and that I should be confident, and strong in this period of grace that I in no way deserve. 

Wow, that got pretty deep, pretty fast. Anyways, for those of you who have stuck with me thus far, reading all my rambling on about my far from typical but pretty dang blessed life, I want to leave you with some words of encouragement. Whatever you are dealing with right now, if you're single and lonely, living in the middle of nowhere like me, if you live in a big city, if you talk to your dogs more often than people, or if you're more normal and talk to people more than dogs, if you're in a season of doubt and heartache, or if you are on top of a mountain living high on life with your soulmate, I want to remind each and everyone of you, you are not alone. You are not alone in your season of struggle or success. You are not alone trying to plan out your life, you are not alone in your walk of life, there is someone, somewhere over the rainbow out there walking in footsteps that look a lot like yours. Someone feeling the same thing your heart is feeling. But even more than that, there is a God who created you and already has THE REST OF YOUR LIFE planned out to a T! Every single detail, He already knows it ALL. He has plans for you that abundantly exceed anything you could ever dream of. He remains faithful through it all. Have a little lot of faith, I promise it will take you places you never thought you could go. Be strong in grace my friends and fellow children of God! And as for me, I'm going to keep happily hanging out with my cows and believing that my future husband will be sweet, handsome, call me darlin' and ma'am, love cows, corgis, caballos, me, and most importantly, the good Lord above.